When it comes to relationships, friendships, and even business success, anger is probably one of the most destructive forces known. What did Jesus say about anger and how does it affect relationships?
The Bible study on anger comes from Matthew Chapter 5, and Jesus explains what anger really means. It may not be quite what we expected!
Once a temper is lost, the damage is already done. That’s why anger management books are so popular.
Jesus uses a quote from the Ten Commandments to illustrate how to deal with anger and relationships.
A Simple Question: What Did Jesus Say about Anger?
“You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’
But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. – Matthew 5:21-22 NASB
Jesus Teaches About Anger Management And Relationship Issues
In Matthew Jesus teaches about getting angry – maybe angry enough to kill! Would you commit murder if you were angry enough?
In these passages, Jesus says if we become angry enough to murder someone, we have already committed the crime.
The question is, have we ever committed murder? The Pharisees did when they became enraged enough to kill Jesus.
By becoming angry to the point of wanting to murder someone, we become guilty before our Creator. We are just as guilty as the Pharisees in their ultimate decision to take the life of Jesus.
What Does Murder Do?
Taking the life of another human is against the values and beliefs of most humans.
In a Clint Eastwood movie, he explained that killing “takes away everything a person has, or ever will have“. A bit chilling when you think about it.
But, What About Anger?
Does anger have the same gravity as murder?
We would never murder anyone, but we can become extremely angry at them.
Anger can be dangerous not only on a physical level, causing a person to lose control, but also on a relationship level.
Anger and Divorce
Many marriages have ended in divorce due to anger — some arguments are over petty matters such as money or priorities.
The most common reasons for divorce, in the United States, are:
- marital infidelity,
- financial disagreements,
- weight gain,
- lack of intimacy,
- lack of equality,
- poor communication,
- and addiction.
Although some marriages are doomed to fail, if those couples had turned to God, learned the meaning of his law, and forgiven each other, they may have been able to reconcile.
“Love God, Love Each Other.”
Last but not least, anger moves us farther away from God. He commands us to love him and to love one another.
Jesus said we are to be salt and light to the world. But how can we do this when we are angry?
Relationships with people are valuable, but our relationship with God is even more valuable.
My Personal Battle with Anger
The ability to control my anger is one of the biggest challenges I face, but with God’s help, I am making progress.
When we keep our thoughts to ourselves, we can often avoid lashing out in anger at another person. Jesus teaches us that even our thoughts about others should be controlled.
This is because our thoughts have a way of manifesting themselves in our words and our actions.
If we fill our minds with negative thoughts about others, then that negativity will eventually come out in our behavior. Keeping our thoughts in check is key to avoiding outbursts of anger.
The task isn’t easy, but it’s something we can begin to work on today.
God Can Help
We can many times keep from lashing out in anger at another person by keeping our thoughts to ourselves but Jesus teaches that we should work on controlling even our thoughts about others.
No easy task but something we can work on starting today.
If this is one of your weaknesses as it is with me, pray and ask God to help you overcome this destructive emotion.
The best control is always God’s! Self-control works in many cases, but God’s control always works best!
Love in Christ
If you would like to learn more about the love and life-changing experience of Jesus Christ, please take a moment to read John 3:16 for information.